I haven’t written about chronic pain or fibromyalgia for many months, though I think about those subjects every day. A comment on one of my posts (Methadone and chronic pain: a personal account), raised the question of how a patient can help his family understand what he’s experiencing. Chronic pain can change a person in so many ways from facial expression to level of activity, interest in sex, mental acuity. For family, friends, and people at work, the changes can be frustrating, mysterious, threatening. What does this new behavior mean, who is this person, how long will it be like this? Why can’t s/he just live with that pain, why does it have to affect everything? Is s/he behaving like that because s/he doesn’t love me and the kids any more? Is it ever going to change back?
The person in pain is feeling a complex mix of emotions too, wanting to communicate and be close but embarrassed to admit how huge the effects of the pain really are, or to confess helplessness in the face of the pain. Will my spouse leave me, will my boss fire me, will I be thought crazy or weak, manipulative or a malingerer?
Can’t know how others feel about his or her pain and changes
Does know it has a negative effect, and may feel guilty about it
May feel helpless, resentful, guilty, frustrated, angry
Afraid to ask
Family and friends
Can’t know how patient feels physically or mentally
May feel helpless, resentful, guilty, frustrated, angry, abandoned
Afraid to ask
It’s the classic set-up for terrible misunderstandings and friction: intense emotions on each side, big stakes at risk (marriage, jobs, survival of relationships you’ve spent years building), and neither side knows what to say.
Then there’s dealing with the medical establishment, not easy for the person with chronic pain. Treating chronic pain is frustrating and unrewarding for physicians. The pain is invisible and resistant to treatment, progress is measured subjectively by the patient, misuse of pain medications is a serious risk, and perceived pain is affected by emotional and social factors outside a doctor’s comfort zone.
I’m choosing three parts of this huge subject to address now. First, ways to track your pain level and medications’ effects so that you can discuss them more clearly with others, including family and physician. Second, articles on families and chronic pain. Third, an annotated list of links to the major organizations concerned with pain, where more resources can be found.
My hope is that individuals can find tools here to help them get started with communicating better, understanding better. The tools are not the conversation, but they may be the foundation for it. To build on that foundation requires each of us to expose vulnerability, to admit how much other people mean to us, and to practice patience and compassion every day. And keep your sense of humor in good working order!
To that end, here’s an interruption, with a cartoon that nosleepingdogs has been saving for just the right occasion, and she hopes this is it. (Cartoon by Bizarro, reproduced without permission but with great appreciation.)
Making the invisible, visible
How can we pain patients help others understand what we’re feeling? Pain is invisible, it varies in type and intensity, and everyone has had some pain so they all think they know what chronic pain is like. Keeping a daily record, with numeric measurements, will give something concrete to point to, showing that you’ve had no pain-free days for the past month, or that your pain consistently increases under certain conditions. Such records are called pain diaries, journals, or logs, and they are a very useful aid in talking to doctors as well as to family members. They also give patients a way to know, and remember later, how this week’s pain compares to that of last week, or how this pain med compares to the one we used previously.
The heart of the pain log is a measurement scale for pain, like this one from the National Institutes of Health.
At one end is “no pain”, at the other end “severe” pain, with the 10 at the end often described as the worst pain you can imagine. Record numeric pain ratings on your log form as often during the day as you think will be helpful. I’ve gathered several forms from various sites, which you can download or print directly. Because links change, I’m giving not only the original link to the site presenting the form, but also a link to a copy of the form hosted on my blog. The forms are free for personal use, I think none of these organizations will object, but not for any commercial purpose. Or, you can design your own form, and I include a sample that I made in a few minutes in a word processor.
Choose a form that lets you record the additional information that you think is important. Some include what meds you took and when, so you can compare that to changing pain level. Others have places to record levels of stress, quality of sleep, amount of exercise, and mood. I recommend photocopying or printing at least a month’s worth, and stapling them or putting them in a notebook. Be conscientious about this. It doesn’t take long to fill in the day’s information, and the value lies in writing it down at the time, and every day. Once a week won’t be much good, nor will it work to try and remember how you felt last week. Just do it, maybe when you brush your teeth at night, or after taking each medication, or after each meal.
Pain log templates
The thumbnails are just pictures, not links. View or download the forms with the links at the end of the description. All forms are in pdf format.
Here is the Daily Pain Diary Form from Partners Against Pain. It consists of 2 pages; one in graph format to record pain level and meds taken, the other with questions about breakthrough pain, sleep, side effects, other things you did to help relieve your pain, etc. Download or view this form from the original site, or from my blog files.
Next is the Pain Management Log, a simpler one-page form from Partners Against Pain. It records date, time, severity of pain, medicine or non-drug control method used, how severe the pain is one hour later, and activity at the time of pain. It can be used for a single day, or you can make entries for successive days on the same page. Download or view this form from the original site or from my blog files.
The 8.5×11 Pain Log is a 2 page form, from the American Chronic Pain Society, unusual in that it uses cartoon-like symbols for levels of pain, exercise, stress, etc. Download or view this form from the original site or from my blog files.
The form pictured below is the one I made up quickly myself in a word processor, just as an example for those who want to design their own. One page. Download or view this form from my blog files.
Next are two forms that are not for daily use but would be good to fill out before a visit to your doctor, as a sort of summary or review of a period of time. First, a 6-page questionnaire called Keeping Track of Your Care, from Partners Against Pain. (It seems to have been designed for cancer patients, but will serve other pain patients just as well.) In addition to summing up pain, meds taken, and that sort of thing, it also has a list of questions about the effect of the pain upon your life over the time period, and the usual drawing of a body front and back on which to indicate location of pain. The list of questions would be good to review before going to see your pain doctor each time, to be sure you bring up all your concerns.
This questionnaire also asks “What is your goal for relief?”, a great question to consider, and let your physician know what your goal is. It’s a good question for two reasons: one, you need to realize that zero pain may not be an achievable goal, and if it is not, what is your secondary goal? To continue working, to enjoy better relationships with your loved ones, to be able to be active for 6 hours a day before you have to stop, to get your pain from an 8 to a 3? Important issues to think about. And, second, it gives both you and your physician something defined to strive toward. Download or view this form from the original site or from my blog files.
Second, the 2-page Patient Comfort Assessment Guide, another from the Partners Against Pain organization.
Like the preceding template, this is not a daily record but the sort of thing that your pain doctor might have you fill out regarding your pain, meds taken and how much relief each gives on a numeric scale, side effects, and how pain has interfered with different aspects of your life in the past week, including mood, sleep, ability to concentrate, normal work, etc. Download or view this form from the original site or from my blog files.
How pain records help you talk to your doctor
Pain doctors have to have a way to decide upon, and justify, the medications they give you (or prescriptions for physical therapy, TENS units, referrals to nerve specialists, etc.). They can feel much more confident if you bring in a photocopy of your pain journal for them to keep in the file, with times, dates, and numeric ratings, than if you just come in and say “Doc, I need something stronger, this prescription just isn’t helping me.” If you feel your journal shows something in particular, go over the entries with your physician. Maybe your journal will show that what you need is medication for “breakthrough pain”, to be used occasionally as needed to keep the pain from getting the upper hand. Or maybe there will be a pattern telling the doctor something you’re not even aware of.
It is absolutely in your best interest to keep a pain journal, and keep it accurately. Don’t inflate what you are feeling. But—and here is another way pain records can help— do use them to show the doctor exactly how the uncontrolled pain is affecting your life. Restoring you to your previous level of functioning is the pain doctor’s aim, not making you feel good. That, I’m afraid, is up to you, perhaps with some help from anti-depressants or the like. But your doctor knows that people don’t feel good when they can’t do the normal things in their life because of pain, so improving function does, indirectly, also improve mood and enjoyment of life.
When my pain was at its worst, I began to think of my life as a sinking ship, from which everything nonessential was being thrown overboard. Anything I did just for enjoyment, over it went. The “have-to’s” of course were kept: working, commuting, taking a shower, shopping for food, and so on. Your pain journal can be the evidence of how much of your life has been “thrown overboard”, or become very difficult, because of pain (and the fatigue that goes with it). Choose a journal template that will help you record this, as well as levels of pain and how well meds or other methods work.
How pain records can help you
They can help you measure progress, or lack of it, over time. When you feel rotten all the time, the days can all blend together. Then you look back at your records and see that 6 months ago you couldn’t walk a block, or sit in the car for more than 15 minutes. Now both of those things have improved. “Wow! I’m making progress!” Give yourself a pat on the back, figure out what made the difference, and work on it some more. Or, no progress? backward movement? Then you know what you are doing is not working, and you and your doctor need to talk about this. And you’ve got the evidence on paper to show her or him, rather than just walking in and saying that you feel worse than ever.
What’s on paper can also help your family understand your situation, what you are going through. They may not need to look at the pages, but just being able to say that for the last month your pain level hasn’t been below 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, is a concrete representation of something otherwise invisible and hard to think about. “Dad hurts all the time” doesn’t have the same impact.
Articles for chronic pain patients and their families
My search for reading material I can recommend has just begun, it seems, since so far I’ve found only one article, and no books. I’m hard to please, apparently. I have no use for material that doesn’t adequately distinguish between addictive behavior, and the behavior of a pain patient who’s become habituated to opioids (see earlier post, Dr. House’s writers betray pain patients), or for intimations that people with chronic pain just need to think positive thoughts and get some exercise. (Though I won’t deny, both of those are good things! Both can make you feel a little better, too, but they are not cures for pain, and many people are in such pain that the advice is a mockery.)
Surviving a Loved One’s Chronic Pain. This article was written by a pain doctor as a handout to patients.
This handout was inspired by a patient of mine who came into my office and inquired what resources were available for the family members of patients with pain to help them understand what their loved ones were going through. He discussed how his wife was frequently angry at him for not doing more physically at home while she was at work and how she often yelled at him. He felt guilty about it, but felt he did as much as he could tolerate. I was embarrassed to admit that I did not know of any handouts explicitly directed at spouses, family members, and other loved ones. After doing some research on the Internet, I discovered several very helpful publications, specifically Julie Silver’s 2004 book, Chronic Pain and the Family: A New Guide (Harvard University Press) and the American Chronic Pain Association family manual, ACPA Family Manual: A Manual for Families of Persons with Pain, written by Penny Cowen (ACPA, 1998). I also found some helpful articles by Mark Grant, a psychologist in Australia, especially his “Ten Tips for Communicating With a Person Suffering From Chronic Pain,” which is available on his website, http://www.overcomingpain.com. Mark was kind enough to allow us to summarize his suggestions here. As well, one of us (Whitman) has a website to help patients cope with chronic pain, and occasionally discusses family issues on it (www.howtocopewithpain.org). Much of what is in this handout is taken from these sources.
What was striking, however, is how little material there was oriented toward the family compared to the massive amount of self-help material oriented to the patient with pain. In view of the profound effect the patient’s pain has on the family and the equally profound effect the family’s (and friends’) responses have on the patient with pain, I found this troubling. I also felt that while Silver’s book and the ACPA manual were very helpful, few family members would get them and fewer read through them. What was needed, I felt, was something brief and to the point. This is the result of that determination.
Surviving a Loved One’s Chronic Pain, four pages, available as a pdf from the original source, pain-topics-org, or from my blog files.
This article recommends another that I agree on, “Ten Tips for Communicating With a Person Suffering From Chronic Pain” available at overcomingpain.com or from my blog files.
Organizations concerned with pain
American Pain Society
a professional medical organization with some education functions. They do research on sub-topics in pain and also some advocacy.
Guides for Persons with Pain
Patient Guide: Managing Osteoarthritis Pain
Consumer Guide: Managing Rheumatoid Arthritis
Parent Guide: Managing Pain from Juvenile Chronic Arthritis
Guide for Adults with Cancer Pain
Guide for Adults with Fibromyalgia Syndrome Pain
The above are short pamphlets, 12-16 pp and are offered for sale in sets of 25 of one title, for medical. There is no version that can be read online as far as I could find.
They say, “Pain has been ignored as a problem by the medical science and society for a long time. The fact that America still doesn’t have a National Institute of Pain indicates this lack of attention towards pain. Surprisingly, America does have a National Institute for Addiction. The primary efforts of the American Pain Association are directed towards education and research. We are also working in the area of developing expert consensus statements regarding pain issues.”
Seems to be mostly a professional organization, offering certification courses in pain, and basic and advanced courses in pain management for all medical personnel including nurses, physicians, pharmacists.
American Pain Association page summarizing new methods of pain relief, will give you some ideas to research or ask about.
American Chronic Pain Association
A previous organization, the National Pain Foundation, is merging with the ACPA.
The ACPA has some very good informational resources, including their Chronicle (archives here). For example, the Summer 2006 issue was devoted to nerve pain.
Partners Against Pain, source of many of the forms I’ve described above. They describe themselves as “a resource that serves patients, caregivers, and healthcare professionals to help alleviate unnecessary suffering by advancing standards of pain care through education and advocacy.” Advocacy is a major element of their work, but other material is available too. They publish a Resource Guide for People in Pain which contains some of the forms above, and others including checklists for doctor visits or the ER, as well as sections on other aspects of health that are good to review, like nutrition, stress, and exercise; it also has lists of organizations concerned with certain diseases or conditions, or professional fields, or patient support. I recommend skimming through it for what you need at the moment. Read or download it here.
APF is an education & advocacy group, which actively works with the news media on conveying pain issues, and publishes a semi-annual Pain Research and Practice Update. The Summer 2010 issue is here.
They have a library of online materials which I haven’t explored yet, but it looks worth checking out. Here’s the directory:
• Audio/Video Replays
• Chat Transcripts
• Pain Conditions
• Pain Topics
• Q&A About Pain
• Top Ten Tips for Coping
• Webinar/Teleconference Replays
Pain Resource Information
• Financial Information & Assistance
• Finding Care
• Pain Law & Ethics
• Pain Links
• Pain Resource Locator
Programs & Campaigns
• Acute Pain Spotlight
• Back Pain Spotlight
• Breakthrough Cancer Pain Online Guide
• Cancer Pain Spotlight
• CareCentral for Caregivers
• End of Life Care Spotlight
• Exit Wounds – Military/Veterans Pain Initiative
• Fibromyalgia Spotlight
• Health Decision Making Online Guide
• Let’s Talk Pain
• Shingles & Post-Herpetic Neuralgia Spotlight
• Yoga for Chronic Pain & Disability
The vocabulary of pain
Pain and its treatment have a specialized vocabulary. I found some online glossaries that may be of interest in understanding exactly what is being talked about.
Chronic Pain Glossary of Terms
Pain management: Glossary of terms
American Pain Society Glossary of Pain Terminology